Saturday, October 13, 2007
I don't know whats up with my mind and body, but the entire time I have been feeling good and just yesterday I felt real down and out. Just got the case of the blues so bad I guess. I just felt so sad and gloomy. A cold front moved in a few days ago and I hate the cold, maybe its that. I don't know. I got to talking with my boss about what I'll do when it gets closer for me to stop working and will I take a leave of absence or will I just leave all together. I really will miss working. Even on my days off I still think about work, funny. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I feel like I might go crazy being with the baby all day long, day in day out, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I hate to not help bring in any money and it will be really tight for us without my income. Boy you think I would have a better plan, but none of this was planned. I really didn't think I would have another baby after 15 years. My girl is so big and independent and now in high school. I just can't believe I'll be doing this all over again and maybe thats whats getting me down. Most of you that know me, i'm not a kid person and very selfish as it is. I will have a hard time adjusting to giving up all my time to the young one. I had a hard time with my daughter, but thank god I had family and friends to help me out. Now I have no one. I have Mianna but I don't know that she is all that happy to have a new baby in the house. I need a pick me up. I havn't left my house is over 3 weeks and this weekend I'll be going to VA to see Rich, maybe that will make me feel better.
Posted by virgi at 12:49 PM