Saturday, October 13, 2007

baby blues

I don't know whats up with my mind and body, but the entire time I have been feeling good and just yesterday I felt real down and out. Just got the case of the blues so bad I guess. I just felt so sad and gloomy. A cold front moved in a few days ago and I hate the cold, maybe its that. I don't know. I got to talking with my boss about what I'll do when it gets closer for me to stop working and will I take a leave of absence or will I just leave all together. I really will miss working. Even on my days off I still think about work, funny. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I feel like I might go crazy being with the baby all day long, day in day out, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I hate to not help bring in any money and it will be really tight for us without my income. Boy you think I would have a better plan, but none of this was planned. I really didn't think I would have another baby after 15 years. My girl is so big and independent and now in high school. I just can't believe I'll be doing this all over again and maybe thats whats getting me down. Most of you that know me, i'm not a kid person and very selfish as it is. I will have a hard time adjusting to giving up all my time to the young one. I had a hard time with my daughter, but thank god I had family and friends to help me out. Now I have no one. I have Mianna but I don't know that she is all that happy to have a new baby in the house. I need a pick me up. I havn't left my house is over 3 weeks and this weekend I'll be going to VA to see Rich, maybe that will make me feel better.


Ingrid said...

Awe, Virg, maybe you can go back to work part time? I know being cooped up with a little one all day can drive anyone a little nutty. I'd wait until your son is at least 3 or 4 months old though. Most daycares won't take babies younger than that since their immune systems aren't strong enough to fight off germs. Daycares are teaming with germs, so it's only a matter of time before your little guy will get sick. They all do. You'll be okay. I know it. I survived raising 3 kids by myself while Mike was in Monterey for 18 months. You will fall into your own routine... and in love with your new baby. ((hugs))

virgi said...

O man, I'm like a new person today. I talk to my friend at work, she said it must have been my hormones getting me down. Today I'm fine. ehehhe. Yeah, i'll have to hurry up and make up my mind as to what I want to do with work, but I'll probably just put in my maternity leave and not termination. Today I'm like all happy and normal, not sad anymore. I'm excited about my trip to VA in a few days. I miss my Richie boy.